SGH Experience Day 4:
Closing Down
By this point in the Summer of 2005, months have passed by since the messy disbandment of Sweat Glass Halo, and Ash updates us the day before his last college exam, eager to escape and move on with his life.
June 16th 2005
Long time no write. Man time flies. It’s been kinda hard. I’ve barely been in college this whole year, everytime I’m there I feel like an alien, I hate it. Got my last exam tomorrow, then I don’t have to put up with that bullshit anymore. I don’t have many regrets but taking psychology is definitely one of them…
I’ve mainly been at Jonah’s [Ash’s best friend] this whole time. Haven’t spoke to my dad at all, but went home once for Maria [Ash’s sister’s] birthday. Now college is ending I think Jonah’s parents are wondering when I’m gonna fuck off, which is fair. I got a job (finally) last month at the Spoons in Bridgewater [district of Anagood], so I plan to fuck off soon hopefully.
Man it’s been embarrassing being recognised behind the bar. My least favourite thing to hear is “What happened to [Sweat Glass Halo], you were great!” Fuck off mate, you’re drinkin [redacted for legal reasons], drink a real beer.
There’s actually a piano in one of the rooms at work, so when I’m closing I like to have a little tinker. A few days ago I ended up writing a whole song, and I have this weird feeling that it’s the best song I’ve ever written. It’s called “NOW! That’s What I Call Closure”. I don’t think I know what it’s even about yet.
Shown below are Ash’s original handwritten lyrics for “NOW! That’s What I Call Closure”, dated June 11th, 2005.
"Closure" Lyrics: Annotated
I feel as though NOW! That’s What I Call Closure is probably one of the best songs I’ve ever written; it’s definitely in my top 10, and it’s amazing to find a lot of people who listen to my music feel the same way!
The song itself took almost 3 months of on/off writing, and I ended up cycling through 3-4 completely different sounding songs with different chords, all which attempted to capture the emotion that this version does.
Because of this, the concept of this “final farewell” track almost got scrapped completely, until during a recording session for the album, I sat down at a keyboard for a couple hours and after starting from scratch yet another time, I finally managed to dig this song out of my mind.
Sweat Glass Halo - NOW! That’s What I Call Closure
NOW! That's What I Call Closure
You’re not as glamourous as you were
When I slept with you last night
Regret to inform that I’ve been caught
With my turret state of mind [1]
And I escaped just for a second, barely made it out alive
Left me wondering what I’d do if I’d never arrived
Arrived
If I don’t finish this
What the fuck was this all for [2]
If I don’t finish this
Why the fuck would you ask for more
If I don’t comply, would you spit in my naked eye
Would you still feel pressed, even if we died?
We died
And I can tell your kids are gonna be beautiful
Your kids are gonna be beautiful
Your kids are gonna be beautiful
And I don’t ever wanna meet them [3]
I’ve been surfing, the sofa kind [4]
I’ve learnt the makes, they’re memorised
The kind of furniture my friends have
Says a lot about their lives
And I would rather sleep on cardboard
By the heater near the stairs
Than put up with my family’s affairs
Affairs, affairs, affairs, affairs
And I can tell their kids are gonna be beautiful [5]
Their kids are gonna be beautiful
Their kids are gonna be beautiful
And I don’t ever wanna meet them
And now I realise your reflection
Was so much better than the real thing [6]
The thought of suicide at sunrise
Was so much better than the real thing
The idea I had for a short film
Was so much better than the real thing [7]
I’m sick of the real things
And if she wants a fake tan, she can get a fake tan
If she wants a new man, she’s gonna find a new man
If she doesn’t understand, she won’t ever understand [8]
But her kids are gonna be beautiful
Her kids are gonna be beautiful
Her kids are gonna be beautiful
And I don’t ever wanna, I don’t ever wanna
Kids are gonna be beautiful
Her kids are gonna be beautiful
Her kids are gonna be beautiful
And I don’t ever wanna, I don’t ever wanna
You’ll never know my invisible thoughts! [9]
You’ll never know my invisible thoughts!
You’ll never know my invisible thoughts!
You’ll never know, you’ll never know
You’ll never know my invisible thoughts!
You’ll never know my invisible thoughts!
You’ll never know my invisible thoughts!
You’ll never know, you’ll never know
Closure, she won’t come over
Closure, the worst shit is over
Close her outside your mind
And the one thing that you will find is [10]
Closure, she won’t come over
Closure, the worst shit is over
Close her outside your mind
And the one thing that you will find is
Ahh-ahh-ahh
Ahh-ahh-ahh
Ahh-ahh-ahh
Ahh-ahh
Ahh-ahh-ahh
Ahh-ahh-ahh
Ahh-ahh-ahh
I don’t ever wanna (You will never know) (The one thing that you’ll find)
Guys it’s all good,
I just wanna make sure everyone gets home safe
You know, chill, you know, have a nice time
It is what it is, you know what I mean?
Like, we’re just living our lives and chilling
You know what I mean? [11]
ANNOTATIONS:
[1] – When I had just left school and was about to go into college, it seemed like a glamourous concept. Having finished college, I reflected that it was nowhere near as glamourous as I thought it would’ve been. “Turret state of mind” refers to how firmly held my negative views toward college were.
[2] – This song took about 3 months of writing on and off to complete, and so this line literally refers to the concept of finishing the song, and by extension the album itself.
[3] – Still a bit of a mystery to me. I think the “kids” mentioned here are the future generations who will attend the same college I did. It also seems like something you’d say to an ex-longterm-lover, which fits the idea that my relationship with college was similar to a toxic relationship with a person.
[4] – Sofa surfing (aka couch surfing): staying temporarily in a series of other people’s homes, typically by sleeping on their sofas. Often a result of homelessness. Not a personal experience, but I thought it was a cool word, and this line basically inspired the entirety of Ash’s personal story.
[5] – I think the “kids” here represent the general future of people close to me. Around the time of writing this song, I was considering moving away from everyone I know, and the city I grew up in, 300 miles north up to Glasgow (which is happening as of July 2026!), in an attempt to reinvent myself as I enter adulthood. This line is just an acknowldgement that I’m going to be a lot less present in all their lives for the foreseeable future…
[6] – More disappointment about college not being as fun as I’d hoped.
[7] – In college I studied A-level Film and for our coursework we had to write a screenplay for a short film in a distinct genre. I wanted to create a noir/crime film that featured a (rather ingenious) time loop, but my teacher found it confusing. The end result was okay, but my initial idea was better.
[8] – Who is “she”? We may never know. Could be college again. Could be every girl I’ve ever been rejected by. Could be everyone in the world. It’s probably all three.
[9] – I’m usually fairly introverted and rarely say what I’m actually thinking. It’s not even necessarily lack of confidence, it’s more like I’m worried I’ll come across as blunt and hurt someone’s feelings. There’s a fine line between being blunt and being rude that I still trip on sometimes.
[10] – The vocal layers building and clashing with each other in this section kinda represents how many iterations it took to write this song in full. This section was an old version of the chorus before I replaced it with the “kids are gonna be beautiful” line.
[11] – This recording that closes off the song (and the whole album) comes from a voice message one of my best friends Rhys sent to a group chat from a party we were at on New Year’s Eve 2025. It is the reason the album is named what it is.